"Should-ing," Letting Be, and Doing


A favorite saying of mine is, "Stop 'should-ing' all over yourself."
It's funny, but also true.

 Sometimes it's easy to look at life with a critical eye and a negative perspective leading to thoughts such as: I should do this.  I should be that.  I should be meditating regularly.  I should exercise.  I should read more books, watch more documentaries, be more active in politics, create more art...and so on.

 We can get caught in a spiral of beating ourselves up because we're not meeting certain expectations.

 And how does that help us?  Does it get YOU excited about doing any of those things?
For me, all the "shoulds" make me just wanna give up!  Which is the opposite of what I want.

 When I notice myself getting caught in the "shoulds" (sometimes it's immediate, but other times, it might take a day or two!!), I try to shift my perspective into letting myself be, as I am, in that moment. This is the same as accepting myself for all the things I'm doing, AND all the things I'm not doing.  Extending myself kindness and compassion, patience and gentleness. 

 This practice reminds me that I am a whole person.  When I get caught in the "shoulds," I am dividing myself, encouraging parts of myself to judge and berate other parts of myself.  It's a bit saddening, isn't it?  Loving and appreciating all parts of ourselves is certainly an ongoing practice.

 After I am able to accept where I am, and let myself be, THEN I can act and do something.  It's interesting to notice that when we don't beat ourselves up with the "shoulds," doing the things we want can unfold MUCH easier.

 With that being said, I worked on a couple paintings this weekend; after "shoulding," letting myself be...I just "did" without much thought or planning!  

 [Image is below. My friend found a painting (left image) sticking out of the trash and asked if I wanted to work on it because we both liked the original subject matter. The right image is my work.  It's not quite finished yet! :D]

 What happens for YOU when you stop the "shoulds"?

Location: Long Beach, CA, USA

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Getting Lost

Image
Sometimes I get Lost.  Feeling overwhelmed.  Too much information. All external.  Not sure where to go.  Wandering around in circles. No direction.  Every direction. Time to regroup. Pressure. Idea that "bring in-motion is best", but getting nowhere . Bombarded with others' maps and suggestions. Only I know the way for my Self. How to get centered, and find MY way: A Plan of Internal Action STOP MOVING Do not take in new information REST Breathe.   Let the panic dissipate Then 1.  Take stock:  What do I have right now, in this moment? Resources, skills, connections... 2.  Create a compass:  Where do I want to end up?  What are my passions; what gives me life?  Letting the goal arise from this. It is authentically mine. 3.  Create a map:  How can I create a path to my goal, with what I have?  Are there mini destinations I have to focus on first?...
Read more

Going Somewhere

Image
This week, I'm going somewhere. Literally:  I'm going to Ohio for a best friend's wedding! Figurativel y:   I'm leaving the rut I've been working on, to be there for someone I care about.  Literally:   I gotta prepare.  Get organized. Make lists. Fit 4 days into a backpack to take on a Spirit flight. Good thing the weather encouraged smaller clothing and fewer layers! Figuratively: I gotta prepare. Let go of my fierce grip on my Long Beach reality.  Trust that my relationships will be here when I get back. Reminder-  Hey! I'm only gonna be gone for an extended weekend! Literally: I'm so ready to take a break. Change surroundings. Figuratively: I gotta  let myself have this break, and   allow room for my perspective to shift with the change of information reaching my senses.    Regardless of the layers of my human experience: I'm grateful for the opportunity to take this trip. I'm grate...
Read more

Busy as Distraction

Image
Busy.  Distracted? I become distracted by being "busy."   In the past, I often used "busy" as an excuse to avert my focus from what's harder/scarier:  My own goals.  Ah, distraction as a defense mechanism... Since the start of 2018, I have been living in an "in-between" period. A transitional space. So much unknown to keep me busy! Becoming overly involved in my external environment Distracted.   Making connections, yes, but NOT keeping my personal goals close and clear. I am envisioning: My heart's goals, my passion's goals as A solid core  Surrounded by the details  (people, places, circumstances, timeline)  that are Unknown and flexible Completely controlled  By the creativity of the universe (Not me...lol) How do I remember?  How do I not get lost in life's details (willingly or unwillingly)? For me, I talk to friends about my goals (so they can gently hold me accountabl...
Read more