Receiving and Accepting Love


Big birthday yesterday. 
Probably the most public I've been about my birthday in a long time. 
I have felt so Loved! 
Messages, calls, gifts; getting to share time, cupcakes, laughs, and silence with people I've been lucky enough to come in contact with in my life. 
Celebrations flowing over days. Reminding me that time isn't about our constructed "days" and "hours"... It's much more fluid. 

Transitions don't occur in a cut and dry time-frame.

I feel a little silly that I was Worried about letting go of my twenties; to coalesce all my time and experience into my 30th year of life. 
Worry was completely unnecessary (as it often is...).
I've really never felt so Loved, Accepted, and Supported. 
My birthday experience reiterated that I'm in the right place and the right time with all the right people. YOU are included!

At the end of yesterday, I found myself unsure of how to process all this Love! 
It was interesting to notice a reaction of Guilt arise. 
Guilt that maybe I don't "deserve" all the support, gifts, experiences, amazing people in my life! 

Dang... Those past belief patterns don't play around! 

Thankfully, I'm just observing this pattern and detaching myself from it. Choosing not to identify with it.  Choosing not to go down that path of believing less of my self-worth. Because it IS a choice, if we can stop to see it! 
Instead, I'm experimenting with just sitting with all this Love!  Letting it be there. Learning from it.  I don't have to understand it or interpret it.  Funny to notice that Love is actually a bit intimidating to accept. But, my heart feels full. And it's ok to allow it to feel full.  

And now Joy begins to radiate through the feeling pile...  
Location: Long Beach, CA, USA

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