Know Your Self-Care--Know YourSELF

Let's think a moment about our current self-care strategies (like I ever stop thinking about them!).  For example, when you come home from a long day's work, or when you are stressed about a conversation you had with a loved one, what do you do?  Sometimes there is a favorite TV show or a bubble bath in order.  Or a nap.  Or writing in a journal.  Or eating delicious food.  In this post, I want you to notice what you do, and what it does for YOU!
The following is a technique that invites awareness in the moment.  Hopefully, it will spur an ongoing process.  I will give examples, then you can start identifying your own.

Sometimes when I'm stressed I ________ for Self-care:
*Binge-watch Netflix.   
      What is my intention?
           1. Bring my spirits up, meanwhile gaining space from and perspective on the stressor
                   OR
           2. Zone out and avoid the stressor
In this example, both intentions are possible at different times, with different stressors.  Neither is the "right" answer.  Just notice what the intention is and do not judge it.  Use awareness (again, not judgment) around using intention #2 too much, because it may actually be increasing your stress levels when used all the time.
*Take myself out to dinner.
      What is my intention?
           1. Show myself love and compassion with a delicious meal that I can afford.
                   OR
           2. Engage in self-pity, and contribute to a cycle of self-victimhood by getting a meal that is not healthy for my body and/or that is too expensive for my wallet.
As with the last example, both intentions are completely real, and I have definitely taken self-dates for both reasons.  This exercise is about awareness though.  Within myself, I notice when I use intention #2 often, I get kind of zombie-like and disconnected from the world (and mySELF!).  And sometimes, it's an indicator I'm just sad!  
It actually took a longgggggg time (years...) for me to see my urge toward the second intention.  When we feel miserable, it is SO easy and tempting to just stay in that spiral, but with awareness, we can choose other options!

*Clean my house.
       What is my intention?
           1. Create space and organization, so I can face my stressors.
                  OR
           2. Procrastinate from facing my stressors by being way more detail-oriented than usual.
You might be noticing a trend in these examples and intentions.  All of these are authentic examples from my everyday life.  I like to take note of my intentions because they can really affect the quality of stress relief I gain from my self-care methods.  And it's good to know!
This post is about cultivating awareness.  Awareness is key for quality self-care!  Something that works for someone else, may not always work in the same way for you.  Know your self-care and know your SELF :)
Location: Long Beach, CA, USA

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